i haven't been journalling as much in the last couple of years, but especially this one, because 1) life, and 2) it has been epically awful. except the human experience is a strange thing, because nothing ever seems that bad with a little distance. so maybe not journalling about it isn't the worst idea. i'll never remember how terrifying it's been ( Read more... )

a couple of nights ago, i woke up and legitimately could not feel my legs. i rolled out of bed and tried to stand and my left leg crumpled like it wasn't even my own. that's the most terrified i remember being in at least the past decade. even though i knew, logically, that the chest pains were muscular and there was nothing wrong with my heart, ( Read more... )